Are you a good listener? It’s a skill many think they’ve already mastered. After all, listening seems simple— you just stay quiet and let the other person talk, right?
That’s what I thought for years until I realized I wasn’t truly listening. I was just listening to respond, rather than listening to understand.
The difference between these approaches might seem subtle, but it can be transformative. Practicing active listening— truly hearing and understanding what others are saying, rather than just waiting for your turn to speak— can improve communication, resolve conflicts, and strengthen relationships.
Early in my career, I noticed I was engaging in unproductive workplace conflicts that left me frustrated and drained. While construction can be a high-pressure environment, I realized there had to be a better way to navigate these situations. I wanted to be a part of the solution, not add to the problem. Everything shifted for me during one pivotal interaction, which helped me transform how I listened to others and reshaped my approach to conducting business.
My Change In Perspective
A few years into running my company, PDI Drywall, I was called to a jobsite. The general contractor was on an angry rampage, blaming my team for a list of issues they had nothing to do with.
My immediate reaction? I got very frustrated and headed to the jobsite, ready confront the GC. But as I drove, I realized that mindset wasn’t serving me and didn’t align with my values. I paused and took a step back to look at the bigger picture. This GC had always shown integrity and was usually reasonable— if he was upset, there had to be a deeper issue. I relaxed my shoulders, applied the practice of zooming out (which I wrote about in my last blog post), and decided approach the situation differently.
I gave the GC the benefit of the doubt and bought him lunch on the way to meet him. We sat together and ate in silence, skipping the argument. Then I asked him what was going on and how I could help.
When he responded, I listened. I didn’t think of ways to argue or prove him wrong while he spoke. I just listened. We resolved the problem and never fought again. We had an excellent working relationship from that day forward.
I learned how valuable it is to approach business interactions with empathy, kindness, and respect— what I like to call the Ted Lasso way.
This mindset has been key in shaping PDI, where strong relationships— rooted in open communication and mutual respect— form the foundation of everything we do. These connections drive efficiency, profitability, and morale, proving that what’s good for people is good for business.
At the heart of building these relationships is one essential skill: active listening.
Let’s explore some actionable tips to sharpen your listening skills and see how mastering this often-overlooked ability can bring meaningful improvements in your business relationships.
➡️ Keep a Level Head
You’ll recall that when I left my house, I was ready to go head-to-head with the GC. But choosing to approach the situation with a level head changed everything.
Entering any conversation angry or defensive makes active listening nearly impossible. Emotions cloud your judgment and escalate tensions. Staying calm allows you see the situation more clearly and inspires confidence and trust in others.
To keep a level head before a tough conversation, start with a deep breath to ground yourself. Focus on the facts, not the emotions swirling around the issue. Mentally prepare by reflecting on the bigger picture— finding effective solutions is far more important than being “right.” When you approach a conversation this way, you’ll be calmer, more open, and better equipped to truly listen.
➡️ Pause Before Responding
Wait two to three seconds after the other person finishes speaking before responding. This small pause shows that you’re truly processing their words, not just waiting for your turn to talk. It also prevents interruptions and creates space for more thoughtful communication. Embrace the silence— it can encourage the speaker to elaborate and share more of what they’re trying to express. And be patient— some people need a little more time to articulate their thoughts clearly.
➡️ Repeat Back What You Hear
Also known as paraphrasing, this is an excellent way to validate the other person’s perspective. It also gives you the chance to process their message and confirm you understand them correctly.
For instance, you might respond with something like, “What I’m hearing you say is that you’re concerned about X, Y, and Z, is that right?” This not only confirms your understanding but also opens the door for clarification, fostering a more productive conversation.
Remember, a simple phrase like, “I see where you’re coming from,” can go a long way in showing empathy and respect.
➡️ Ask How You Can Help
Instead of immediately proposing what you think the solution is, ask what they need to fix the problem or move the project forward. This shows that you understand their needs and concerns, and shifts the focus from your response to their perspective.
This is especially effective when tensions are rising and conflict is brewing. Asking how you can help can shift the tone of the entire conversation, allowing the other person to step back and focus on finding solutions rather than engaging in an argument. It demonstrates that you want ot be a part of the solution, not the problem.
➡️ Stay Objective
Avoid picking sides or deflecting blame. While it can be tempting to point fingers, this only creates more tension and shifts the focus away from the real issue. If you’re preoccupied with crafting a rebuttal, you’ll miss out on truly listening. Staying neutral allows you to listen more effectively and fosters stronger, more constructive relationships.
➡️ Remove distractions
Being on your phone or surrounded by loud distractions makes it difficult to truly listen. Find a quiet, calm space where you can give your full attention. It might seem basic, but it’s incredibly important. Not only does it help you listen more effectively, but it also signals to the person that you value what they’re saying.
Your body language plays a big role here too— maintain eye contact, keep neutral expression, and avoid crossing your arms. These simple cues show that you’re engaged and open to the conversation.
Active Listening is a Mindset
Active listening isn’t just a skill, it’s a mindset that transforms the way we collaborate and build trust. In an industry like construction, where clear communication can make or break a project, mastering this art is one of the most valuable tools in your toolkit. The more we listen, not just to respond but to truly understand, the better we position ourselves to lead with empathy and create lasting relationships that drive success. So next time you’re on a jobsite or in a meeting, pause, take a breath, and ask yourself: Am I listening to hear, or just to reply?
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